Can you Truly Break Bad Habits?

When I was in high school, I was obsessed with being thin. To the point that I would not eat, for fear that it would make me fat. Even though I knew the models in magazines were fake and airbrushed, I still wanted to look like that. I began a vicious cycle of eating just enough to make it through the day. But what I didn’t know was that there was no way I was eating enough at all. I was a high school varsity swimmer. We had practices every single day after school and twice a day on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. The french fry I would eat for lunch was not enough to take me through my day at school and swim practice, but I did it anyway. I made sure to eat dinner when I got home. Not only was I starving (literally), but I also didn’t want to draw any attention to the fact that I was not eating.

I was obsessed with food. I was obsessed with weight. I was obsessed with the number on the scale. My worth as a person, in my head, was dependent on what that number was. It wasn’t until I met my husband, that I realized how stupid that was and relaxed. He was the first guy to show me that he cared about me for who I was, not for what I looked like. Since I was no longer competitively swimming, I gained a little weight. But I still looked good. I looked healthy. As the years went by, and after two pregnancies, I’ve put on 100 lbs.

It really hasn’t been until recently, within the last few months, that I’ve really seriously wanted to do something about my weight. But besides losing weight, I wanted to get healthy. I told myself that I was not going to deprive myself of anything…I was going to do this in a healthy manner. I don’t know if I bought it or my husband bought it, but I started making myself Slim Fast shakes. Since I work from home, it’s really easy for me to have my two shakes a day and one healthy meal. Quite honestly, I feel great. I’ve lost some weight since starting the shakes and I’ve started back at the gym. But…

I’m becoming obsessed again. I’m obsessed with drinking those shakes. Afraid that if I drink only one in a day, then real food is going to make me gain weight. I’m obsessed with the gym. Constantly thinking about when I can go, if I can go twice in one day. What I didn’t want to have happened, is happening again. I am focusing WAY too much on weight, food and exercise. On the outside it may look like I am determined and doing well, but I know what is going on inside of me. I know that when I am at the gym and I see that I’ve burned 300+ calories on one of the machines, my first thought is “Sweet! 300+ calories completely cancels out the calories I will put in with one of the shakes and the calories left over will cancel out a snack”. But was I really getting enough calories in a day to fuel my body properly?

To find out, I started using the My Fitness Pal app again to chart my weight loss and the food I eat. I logged every single thing that went into my mouth. Without even calculating the calories I burned exercising, I only consumed 900 calories. Take away the 300+ from exercising and that’s only a 600 calorie consumption in one day. That is not enough.

So what do I do?

I’m still exercising. I go everyday during the week and at least once on the weekend. However, I am forcing myself to have a small snack in between shakes. This way I am getting the calories I need, which means I am fueling my body properly and as a result, I am working towards a healthier me. But what I want to know is, will I ever break that bad habit of obsessing over weight, food and exercise? I’ve had friends tell me that therapy can help that, but I really don’t see how. I mean I know that I’m obsessing about it; I know I may not be consuming enough calories in a day, yet I do it anyway. How will talking to someone change that?

My biggest fear, throughout this whole thing, is that my daughter will pick up on this and eventually be like me. I try my hardest to not mention that I want to lose weight in front of her, but will that be enough?

My 2014 New Years Resolution #FightFatTalk

Well…today is New Years Eve eve and it’s time to start thinking about those New Years resolutions. I make them every year and every single year, I stop doing them by the end of January. Why? Mainly because I go about making the resolutions the wrong way. They usually involve me saying something like:

“My New Years resolution is to lose weight so my butt isn’t so big”

How does saying something negative about myself motivate me to do something positive? It doesn’t. All it does is have me focus on the wrong thing and if we spend all of our time and energy focusing on the negative, it leaves us with very little energy to focus on the positive. In fact, I told you a couple weeks ago about how I was teaming up with Special K and Tyra Banks to Fight Fat Talk and they did a survey that proved the more positive you are about weight management, the more success they had in losing weight or maintaining their weight.

Unfortunately, when I go shopping, I often have so many negative thoughts going through my head as I look at myself in the mirror. But that is all going to change. My 2014 New Years resolution is to have a more positive outlook about myself and my body image. If I’m being completely honest, I do have weight to lose, but like the Special K survey showed, if I focus on the positive, the rest will fall into place.

“My 2014 New Years resolution is to get healthy and help my family get healthy. If I lose weight in the process…GREAT!”

Wouldn’t it be great if stores had more mirrors like the one I found when I was at the mall the other day?


So what do you say? Will you join me and Special K to #FightFatTalk? Try to remember these tips below to help you out:

  • Think before you speak
  • Change the conversation when Fat Talk comes up
  • Stop comparing yourself to other women
  • Say something you like about yourself every time you self-criticize

To help us with our weight management journey,Special K offers a wide variety of delicious, guilt-free products that provide protein and fiber! For more information about the delicious food options and to participate in the Special K challenge (an easy and effective way to jump start your weight management plan for 2014), visit Let’s SHHHHut down the Fat Talk!

Let’s Be Positive and #FightFatTalk

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than you”

~Dr. Seuss

I remember when I was in high school, I would look at different magazines and dream about looking like they did.  I starved myself and even went through a time where I would make myself puke after eating.  But probably the worse thing I did back then and even now, was participate in Fat Talk – you know, the comments you make, either to yourself or with your friends, that cuts down an area or areas of your body. Conversations usually went something like this:

 Me:  “Ugh. My butt looks so big in these pants”

Friend:  “I know, mine too.  And don’t even get me started on my stomach…I totally need a tummy tuck and a boob lift”

Me:  “Forget the boob lift, I need an entire body lift.  Do they do that?”

New Years Eve will be here before we know it and with it comes all the new years resolutions…and with that starts the Fat Talk cycle. Did you know that 93% of women admit to engaging in Fat Talk and 63% say they do it at least once a week? Anything can trigger it…a quick look in the mirror, a skinny woman on the street…it doesn’t matter what it is, women will start dissecting every aspect of their body, in a negative way. Furthermore, 62% of women feel the need to participate in Fat Talk when they hear other women doing it and 70% mostly talk about themselves because it’s that better to talk about yourself before others do, mentality.  That’s why Special K has decided to partner with Tyra Banks to shift the weight management talk to a more positive one. And I am VERY excited to be apart of this campaign, #FightFatTalk with Special K.

“I know firsthand how much criticizing your body negatively affects self-esteem, but as a role model, I try to maintain a positive attitude and healthy approach to managing my weight,” says Banks.  “That’s why I’m excited to partner with Special K to help empower women to not only feel confident about their bodies, but also to remove those negative thoughts and show them how to employ tips and tricks to make their least liked physical attributes look better.”

Our words and thoughts are very powerful. Maybe if I had been a little more positive about myself, I wouldn’t have starved myself or made myself throw up. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get healthy and lose some weight. But how about we do it in a positive way? And to help us with our weight management journey, Special K offers a wide variety of delicious, guilt-free products that provide protein and fiber! For more information about the delicious food options and to participate in the Special K challenge (an easy and effective way to jump start your weight management plan for 2014), visit Let’s SHHHHut down the Fat Talk!

So…can you do it?  Can you stay positive and stop the Fat Talk?  Here are some tips to help you:

  • Think before you speak
  • Change the conversation when Fat Talk comes up
  • Stop comparing yourself to other women
  • Say something you like about yourself every time you self-criticize
My name is Leah and I will NOT be participating in Fat Talk any longer.

My name is Leah and I will NOT be participating in Fat Talk any longer.

I’ll start us off.  I have beautiful eyes. I love how blue they are.

Now…what about you? Leave me a comment telling me something positive about YOU!

Getting What YOU Want this Holiday Season #Slimfessions

It’s that time of year again…that time where it seems like all we do is eat.  Especially in our house.  We have Thanksgiving at my house and then a couple weeks and then it’s time for Christmas get together’s.  In our family, because it is so large, Christmas lasts for an entire week.  Get a load of our schedule:

  • Christmas with my parents
  • Christmas Eve dinner
  • Christmas morning breakfast
  • Christmas dinner with my in-laws
  • Christmas with family in Ohio
  • Christmas with my husband’s grandma

So much food!  Every year I tell myself I am not going to overdo it…but how can you not?!?


This year, Slimfast is asking you to make a Slimfession.

Get What You Really Want This Holiday Season

Sometimes things you say are different than the things you’re actually thinking.  You may say you want to look great in your holiday dress, but what you really want is to impress your in-laws that you haven’t seen since last Christmas

Let us know what you really want on and print a $1 coupon for any Slim-Fast® product!

Share Your Slimfession

Let us know what you really want this holiday season by telling your own Slimfession!  Visit to create your own Slimfession and get it featured in our gallery.  Share it with your friends and followers by using #slimfesions

So…what do I want?  Well I want new clothes for the holiday get together’s.  But what do I really mean by that?  If I were truly honest with myself, what I really mean is that I want to look beautiful for my husband, but more than that…I want to feel beautiful.


Now its time for YOU to confess! Head over and leave your Slimfession and you can win a $25 walmart gift card! Two winners, US only, contest ends on December 6th. Please wait for the Raffelcopter to load.  Good luck!!


The Need for Plus Size Boobs

So…I’m overweight.  I know it.  You know it.  I’m working on it.  But, for the first time in my life, I’m actually somewhat OK with what body is looking like.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE for my stomach to shrink a bit…but something tells me that no matter what I do, it’s always going to be messed up because of my c-sections.  Love my kids, but I sure hate what they did to my body!  But, for me to say I am somewhat OK with what my body looks like, is huge.  I was looking at myself in the mirror before my shower yesterday (come on, you know totally look at yourself nude in the mirror too!) and rather than pick apart all the things wrong with my body, I actually was starting to find some things right about my body.  Other than my eyes.  That used to be my go to response…”oh well I like my eyes“.

But I have ONE major complaint.  If I am going to be fat…can I at least have plus size boobs?  Shopping is hard enough when you’re overweight because nothing ever fits right.  It’s like designers look at plus sizes and cuts everything in a big box shape to make it easier on them, but makes us look even bigger than we are.  Then there’s the whole issue that every single plus size top is made for plus size boobs.  I don’t have plus size boobs.  Almost every top in a plus size store is too big for me.  Or they have these weird seams to outline the boobs and my seams are down around the bottom of my ribs because plus size does  not mean ONE SIZE FITS ALL BOOBS.

However, I got to thinking…if I had bigger boobs it would totally take away from my messed up, never going back to normal c-section stomach.  They would push my clothes out further…off of my stomach…making me look a bit better.  I mean, right now my chest looks like a speed bump.  Of course, I’m not going to do anything surgically to fix this…well…until I lose weight.  Once I lose the weight I want to lose, I am going to be a plastic surgeons dream patient.  I have a wish list of things I would like to nip, tuck, puff out….my husband better start saving!

So…until then, I am going to be using my Fitbit Flex religiously, updating My Fitness Pal regularly and working out at the gym.  I’m hoping that by this time next year, I am down 50 lbs or more!!

Have you ever had or thought of having plastic surgery?