Sometimes Being a Mom is Heartbreaking

Today was probably one of the worst days since becoming a mom. My daughter is afraid of flies, spiders, ants…basically anything outside. In the past she has just stopped dead in her tracks, frozen solid and whined a bit. Not today. She was in her carseat and began screaming bloody murder. She has a tiny (the smallest possible) spider on her arm.

However, the rest of the day she was hysterical literally every 10 minutes. I am not even exaggerating in the littlest bit. It got to the point that she was almost hallucinating (if that’s what you want to call it) spiders and ants crawling on her. She could have won an academy award for the way she carried on in the lobby of the movie theater today. Screaming, shaking, and staring at her hands telling me that she hand spiders all over her (which she didn’t). It was heartbreaking to see my little girl so terribly afraid and not able to console her at all. We tried everything. Nothing worked for more than 10 seconds.

We then started to wonder if the fall she took at the park yesterday could be a problem. She hit the side of her face and head at the park. She seemed fine after, but we’re not doctors and she was not acting normal at all. Then today when my husband took Zachary to soccer, Bella walked smack into a car door. She now has a lovely blue goose egg between her eyes. He chalked it up, at the time, to Bella being Bella (she’s our clumsy child). He said that she also walked into a garbage can in the soccer place. Again, clumsy child. But after the way our day was going, we began to second guess everything so I placed a call to the on call doc in her peds office. They said to take her to the ER. So off she and I went and I love U of M’s ER. They have an area for people who are not sick!

Anyway, to make a really long story a tad shorter, they checked her out really well and determined the she did not need a catscan and also told me that she was having what they thought to believe were panic attacks 🙁 Again, heartbreaking to me. So I took her home, showered her, and cuddled with her until she fell asleep. I am so glad my baby does not have a head injury, but I wish I knew how to help her with her fear of bugs.