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The current time is…6:45am and I am up…on a Sunday. So not normal for me…except for the fact that I had to go do a sleep test last night. Let me tell you, I was extremely anxious to do this. The thought of someone WATCHING me sleep was pretty darn creepy. Especially since that someone watching me last night looked like an aged Norman Bates…you know the creep from the Psycho movies?
So what happened at my sleep test appointment? Well I walked in, was shown where I would be sleeping (which I did notice the microphone and video camera aimed right at the bed immediately upon entering the room), and told where the bathroom was in case I needed it. I was then asked to change into what I was sleeping in and the tech would return in about 20 minutes to start hooking me up. I started to get changed and then I was like “WAIT. There’s a camera right there” so I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom (and yes, I looked all over the bathroom to see if there were any creepy peepholes or camera’s there too…there were not).
Getting hooked up took F-O-R-E-V-E-R. The pictures you are about to see are very frightening…frighteningly hilarious that is!
I had stuff stuck ALL OVER ME. On my legs (which I was kind of excited about…maybe it can figure out why I wake up with such crampy legs every morning), on my face, and in my hair. In my hair. Gross. If you could feel what my hair feels like right now with all the goopy gunk in it. Yuck. But that nasty gunk didn’t stop me from walking into 7-Eleven this morning on my way home to get my newspapers with coupons!
Once I was hooked up, I was told to relax for about 40 minutes before it was lights out. So I watched Teen Mom. First time I’ve ever seen the show. Not a fan. Shame on the creators of that show for even WANTING to exploit those teenage moms. Sure, what a great idea…let’s give knocked up teenagers an opportunity to capitalize on their mistake…and before anyone gets all up in arms by my use of the word “mistake”…yes I believe any child is a blessing…but teenagers don’t need to be having babies. Anywho…let’s get back on track and look at some more frighteningly hilarious pictures of me!
So after 40 minutes or so, Norman came back in and gave me the final piece of my ensemble that I was to sleep in…a nose tube that looked like it had a giant clear booger hanging off of it. Up to this point, none of the wires bothered me…this tube in my nose irritated me beyond belief.
“Are you comfortable?” asked Norman.
“Oh sure Norm. Couldn’t be better”…are you kidding me? Am I comfortable? Sheesh.
And then the funniest moment of this entire ordeal happened. I asked Norman to take a couple pictures of me in my get up. He looked at me like I was a freak to which I said “Oh I’m a scrapbooker”. It was dead silent in the room and I took that as a no, he was not going to photograph me. So I did it myself.
Now it was time to go to bed. Or so I thought. Apparently one of my bazillion electrodes was not working. But which one? Norm couldn’t figure it out so he began testing each and every single one. I just wanted to go to sleep. Finally, after about 20 mins of trying to figure out the problem, everything was fixed and I was told to go to sleep. And sleep I did. I woke up a couple times…probably because I was in a different environment (and someone was watching me)…but all in all, I slept pretty well.
I was woken up (via the sound system in my room) by Norm saying, “Leah rise and shine. I’ll be in there in a moment to unhook you”. I looked at the clock…it was 5am. WTH? Seriously Norm? You can’t let me sleep in a bit? He told me a I slept well…but that’s all he told me. It will take about 2 weeks to get my info back.
As I was leaving Norm said “well Leah, it was a pleasure meeting you. Hopefully we can meet again under different circumstances”. I got the hell out of there quickly. Mr. Norman Bates freaked me out with that comment. Sure he was probably just being polite…but did he really think we would EVER see each other again? In your dreams Norm! Eww…OK. I don’t want to think about Norm dreaming about me to night.
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