Interesting day at the doctors

Today I had to go to the doctor with my husband. It was the first time I went to the doctor with him. Well, the first time it was a doctor for him. He’s been to my va-jayjay doctor many times when I was pregnant with the kids. But this time it was for him, and boy did it bring me back to my 10th grade biology class.

Since we are done having children (read here), Dan has decided to get the “snip snip” done. He hates when I use that term, but the word “Vasectomy” sounds so…weird. I know it’s the correct medical term and all, but it rates right up there with words that bug me (number one being moist). So anyway, his doctor made me come along. Apparently a husband is not able to make a decision about his own penis without his wife’s consent. Who knew?

Anyway, we’re sitting in a room with a giant penis model on the wall when the door opens and a nice looking, young female doctor walks in. I kind of felt weirded out thinking this lady is going to be examining my husband in front of me, but then she introduced herself to us as the physician assistant that will go over the surgery with us. And boy did she go over it in detail…hand drawn pictures too!

So I’m not sure if this is how vasectomy’s are done all over, but this doctor snips the area and adds a titanium clip that will be in my husband for the rest of his life. Immediately I feel like I am going to start to giggle. I’m thinking to myself “Leah don’t act 13…don’t laugh”, but all I could think about was metal detectors, airport security, etc. Lucky for me, she had to leave the room for a moment and I told my husband what I was thinking and we both had a laugh and what does he do when she walks back in? He says to her “my wife has a question about the titanium clip”. She laughed at my horrified face and says, “no, he will not set off any metal dectectors”.

Finally the doctor walks in. He quizes me as to why I can’t get pregnant again and even after I said “due to the procedure I had a few months ago, if I were to get pregnant, it would not be safe for me”, he turns to my husband and says “are you sure you don’t want to have anymore children?”…um listen buddy, unless my husband is planning on having another family with someone else, we are done having kids!

I was even asked if I want to feel the tube (I think he called it a tube) that is going to be cut…all while he is examing my husbands “area”. Um, no thank you. I don’t think either one of us was ready for the extent of the examine. I won’t go into details…but my goodness!

I have to say, the funniest part (even funnier than imagining metal detectors going off because of Dan’s penis) was when we were told that there was a 1% chance of the sperm finding their way out. Basically the parts that were snipped somehow come back together and the sperm is able to channel a new way out. What does Dan say when the physician assistant tells us that “well I am pretty persisitant”. I about snorted pop out my nose at that!

As you are voting for our nations new leader, we will be driving to his surgery. Send good thoughts!