Seriously freaking out here

Like really freaking out.

As we pulled up to our house tonight, I saw what looked like (at first) a huge gray cat by the tree near the side of our house. I started to say “aww look at the kitty” when I realized it was a big ass raccoon. Now most of you are probably like “Um…so”, but to me, raccoon’s are the freakiest things out there. Just thinking about them get my heart beating fast, and not in that way like it does when I see Ben Affleck on tv without a shirt on. We’re talking panic attack way.

So I should probably back up and fill you all in as to why I have this fear of raccoons. A couple summers ago, I opened the door to walk out into our garage and saw a big bushy tail walking it’s way out of our garage. That big bushy tail was the talk of a raccoon. Now again, to most of you, that wouldn’t scare you, but let me tell you, my garage is a disaster. Those critters could be anywhere ready to pounce on me as I get my evening coke (the kind you drink people!). And then it didn’t help matters to have my mother tell me that they have nails that could rip you a part. Way to help with the anxiety mom.

Well this background story gets better. Did I mention yet that I was pregnant? Well I was. And being that I was 6 or so months pregnant, and carry my children high, I couldn’t breath, which made me not be able to sleep. So I came downstairs to see if sleeping in our recliner helped. It did at first, but then I heard this weird noise outside. I got up to see what it was and let me tell you, I pinched myself several times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. In our backyard we had 6 baby raccoons playing on my son’s baby pool. And let me tell you, it was a really cool baby pool. It had a big slide and everything. Notice I said the word “had”. The stupid raccoons broke it as they played like mad on this thing.

For the rest of that summer, I freaked out at the thought of one of those things being in my garage. I wouldn’t go out there at all, I would yell at my husband when he left the door open to the house from the garage or left the garage door open…I basically had full on panic attacks about raccoons that summer. I got over it and never thought about it, until it all came rushing back this evening. And now I am back to being afraid to go out there. In fact, I just asked my husband to get my evening coke (remember, the kind you drink).

Damn raccoons.