How to Help Children Say Goodbye to a Loved One

My children have never experienced death before.  The time came and my husband and I had to decide if we should bring them to the funeral or not.  In the end, we decided that we didn’t want to bring them.  And afterwards, we were really glad we made that decision.  We wanted to help children say goodbye in a child appropriate way.  Finally I decided that I was going to be very matter of fact with them.  After explaining Cancer to them and that sometimes Cancer cannot be treated, I told them that their loved one was in Heaven.  They understood what that meant and asked a few questions, which I answered.

After the funeral, I knew I wanted to give them an opportunity to say their goodbyes.  So I decided to get a bunch of helium balloons and with help, the kids wrote messages and drew pictures on them.  They were very excited to let the balloons go and watch their messages and pictures float on up to Heaven.

Bella, since she can’t spell anything but her name, really liked to draw pictures on the balloons:

Since Zachary can spell most things, he opted to write what he was feeling.  His favorite was “I’ll always remember how funny you are”.  We helped Bella write what she was feeling and what she really wanted to say was “I love you”.

After we wrote on all the balloons, we went outside to release them.  It was around 6:45 p.m. so the sun was going down and you had a perfect view of the sky.  The kids really got a kick out of watching their messages travel to Heaven!

All in all, this was a really good experience for Zack and Bella.  They were able to say their goodbyes in a way that didn’t frighten them and it allowed for them to ask questions, etc.  If you have any good book recommendations that I could pick up for them to read, please leave a comment with the title!  Thanks!!