I honestly thought this post would be easy to write. The only family member that I wish I could see, talk to, etc is my dad. He passed away almost 7 months ago and not single day goes by that my thoughts don’t drift to my dad. I wish he had more time to be with his family. More time to see his grandchildren grow up. More time to be with my mom. Just more time.
You see, he was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of bladder cancer. The day he started his chemo treatment, his heart stopped. Doctors worked on him for over 30 minutes and they were finally able to get his heart started again. I got to the hospital to see him on a ventilator. That was one of the scariest things I had ever seen. If you have never seen a loved one (or anyone for that matter) on a ventilator, consider yourself lucky. It is nothing like what you see on Grey’s Anatomy.
From that moment on, everything seemed to go downhill. We got him signed up for hospice care, but he never really made it into it. The morning he was supposed to be transferred home, he never made it. My mom called me to tell me to get to the hospital…his breathing had changed and they gave him a few hours. I’ll never forget that day. I was in the middle of the Osh Kosh store buying jeans for my daughter. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. While I knew the time was going to be coming soon, I wasn’t ready for it to be right then.
We raced to the hospital and sat with my dad until he passed. One of his favorite things to watch was the Detroit Tigers baseball team. We turned the game on and my dad held on to the very end of the game. He wanted to hear the Tigers win one last time. And boy did they win. They beat the Kansas City Royals 10-1.
It’s been 7 months and I am really hoping that the day will come that I will be able to close my eyes, think of my dad and not see what he looked like when he passed. He didn’t even look like himself. Not at all.
Cancer sucks. His Cancer sucks.