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Perimenopause is a party. The kind of party where you’re not sure if you are going to laugh, cry, or throw your bra out the window. If you are between your 30s and early 50s and find yourself teetering between yelling irrationally at something (or someone) and crying at random commercials, then welcome to the party! You are likely strapping in to the seat of the perimenopause rollercoaster.

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So, What is Perimenopause, Anyway?

You’ve probably heard of the big sister, menopause. Well, perimenopause is the prequel. It usually starts in your 40s but can sneak up earlier. Your ovaries start to slow their estrogen production, and your hormones bounce all over the place. Often times behaving like toddlers after cake–wildly unpredictable!

Symptoms…the Oh So fun times

Just like many other things in life, you are not really given an manual for this. But here are some of the common symptoms:

Hot Flashes: One minute you are feeling all cozy and fine; the next, you’re sweating through your clothes. You feel like your body is burning from the inside out.
Sleep Problems: You may need to count 10,000 sheep before you fall asleep. If you’re lucky enough to fall fast asleep right away, don’t worry, you probably won’t stay that way. You may wake up at 3am wondering all the things (like…”how do mermaids give birth?”).
Mood Swings: PMS but with a flair for the dramatics. One minute you’re looking at your spouse with loving eyes and the next minute you’re wondering why are they breathing.
Irregular Periods: Will she or won’t she show up? She could ghost you for three months and then arrive without warning like a murder scene in a movie.
Brain Fog: Wait, what were we just talking about?

As if those symptoms aren’t terrible enough, you could also deal with things like frozen shoulder and itchy ear canals. The itchy ear thing I was happy to find out. I thought it was super weird that my ear canal, of all things, randomly would itch. Plus it is a bit embarrassing to stick my finger in my ear to itch it.

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But Seriously, What’s Going On?

Now I’m not a doctor, but I have seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy, ER, and every other medical drama out there, so I’m basically a doctor…your estrogen and progesterone levels begin to fluctuate like a hi-bounce ball thrown down a long hallway. This shift in your hormones affects everything from your sleep to your skin to your mental clarity.

(Disclaimer…this is not a real graph. Maybe your hormones are bouncing like this graph depicts or maybe it’s a little more subtle or maybe it’s a little more dramatic. Individual results will vary. Talk to your medical professional)

Coping without completely losing your mind

Guess what? There is some good news. There are ways you can get through this without completely going nuts.

Move Your Body: All those things like sleep and mood, can be helped by moving your body and exercising. Plus, it produces endorphins and those are good things!
Sleep Like It’s Your Job: A bedtime routine is very beneficial in helping you get quality sleep.
Talk To Your Doctor: You don’t have to suffer. Things like hormone therapy, supplements, or lifestyle changes could help. Ask for the help!
Laugh About It: You know how they say, “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry”? Well choose laughter.

The Silver Lining (and I’m Not Talking about Your Hair)

So here’s where I get a little philosophical. Perimenopause is not the end of anything. It’s the incredibly messy middle of a beautiful transition. You are evolving into that wise, more liberated version of yourself. I mean, no more periods (eventually), no more birth control, and no more apologizing. Period.

So, to all my hormonal warriors out there either starting this wild rollercoaster ride or in the middle of it, you are not alone. You are not broken. And most importantly, you are not losing it. You are just becoming the glorious, complicated, magnificent version of yourself that does not give a flying you know what about what anyone thinks.

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